Role games and BDSM elements. How to start?.
An open conversation about its previously secret fantasies can be a big step in relationships – it shows an increase in trust, the willingness to be vulnerable and the desire to explore the new together.
During sex, many people take on different roles, which is often called “role -playing game”. One example of role -playing game is your boyfriend who asks you to behave with him more aggressively and rudely during sex. . D.), it can be called dominant, and another partner can be called submissive. This dynamics of strength/pain in relationships often falls into the category of BDSM (slavery, discipline, dominance, submission, sadism and masochism). The dynamics of power in a healthy relationship, especially during sexual games, benefits from communication – to, during, and even after the roles are played out.
If you are a newcomer in a physically dominant role during sex, find time to talk with a partner and develop rules that you both can agree at first.
Here A few tips, which will help both of you in a conversation:
– Select neutral time and place. The choice of time and place will allow you to comfortably and in detail about what you want and what you do not want in sexual/erotic terms. This is a good idea – to talk outside the bedroom so as not to mix pleasant with useful.
– Avoid assumptions. Try not to assume that one of you already knows how to manage imagination. Asking each other a lot of questions, you can clarify desires, fears and boundaries. Having assumed the obligation to study together, you both will be on the same wave.
– Consent to consent. One of the most important aspects of healthy sexual relations is mutual consent, especially during role -playing games. Consent to respect the request “Slow down” or “stay” Regardless of what you are doing is a way to establish guidelines for a clear message about the desires and needs of each other. There may be times when one person wants to stop or slow down, but there may be times when one person wants to make sure that he can continue to move. Discussion of how to cope with these feelings before they arise will help you feel prepared and safe.
– Make a list. It is sometimes useful to write down what you want and what you do not want. Try to make a list of columns “Yes”, “No” And “May be” For each of you. You can write about what you are completely open in sexual/erotic terms, about what you are not interested in at all, and about things that may interest you, but you are not yet sure. This is a good way to learn more about each other, discuss borders and restrictions, as well as share ideas about potential scenarios of role -playing game and sex. You can reconsider these lists, since the desires of people can change over time.
– Choose “Safe word”. This is an unambiguous word that signals you or your boyfriend that you want to stop or slow down. Some people just use “Safe word” Like a signal. Others use the word “red” For “Stop”, “yellow” For “Slow down” And “green” For “Continuations”.
– Start slowly. Since it is difficult to predict what you like or will not like it until you try something, think about starting slowly when you take up a new adventure in your sex life. Consent to be patient and regular verification can help you both along this path.
If you both agree to experiment with an aggressive sexual game, many practicing BDSMs advise creating the so -called “Scenes”. Your scene is a guide for each of your role with a coordinated time and dynamics. Scenes can help partners support clear boundaries between reality and imagination. The beginning of experiments with blows, slaps or other forms “Causing pleasure” You can start with softer options for the desired action (for example, delicate pats, which become more and more strong).
Having learned more and continuing to honestly talk about what you both want (and what you do not want), you can make your sex life more pleasant, and also increase the level of proximity in your relationship. Have fun and play safely!